


Ain't no climber

by maybefrench



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Drabbles, F/M, I Tried, Sansa-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-29 22:53:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13937133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maybefrench/pseuds/maybefrench
Summary: Sansa's musing on her feelings for Jon ( I guess ? )Day 1 of JonsaDrabbles





	Ain't no climber

_« Nothing feels natural anymore. Nothing was anyway. »_ thought Sansa as she’s looking at Jon and Davos talking with soldiers and chiefs, prepping for war, that’s not what she’s thinking. There’s the Vale coming as they are planning. But there are also all those things she wants to ask. About Ygritte. About leading, commanding, he was Lord Commander. About friends, Edd and Tormund. About hangovers and late night confessions. It is stupid but Jon seems to have had most of the experiences the youth do. Things she was supposed to do down South. She thought it wouldn’t be the case for Jon at the Wall. She used to be talkative. Now, she is only silence and Jon is talking all the time.

Like they exchange cards at some point. And it doesn’t feel right. Being around Jon should be natural. Even if she was a brat and he was gloomy. After days, she still doesn’t know how to behave properly. She goes with the usual Lady behaviour, she knows how to do that but that’s not natural around family. That’s not who she was around family. Joking shouldn’t feel like teasing, which in turn shouldn’t feel like flirting. Bickering shouldn’t be about unspoken words and fantasies of which he is unaware and miles away.

Days are exhausting. Not the marching or the socializing. How to deal with Jon is exhausting. She’s torn between rushing into his arms - he wouldn’t say a word, or slapping him to speak to her - she’d answer any questions he has, or simply to talk to her, because he doesn’t. She _wants_ to tell him everything, the bad, the ugly and ask burning questions, how he feels about her, does she stand a chance, is hope possible? Jon wouldn’t ask more than « are you still hurting ? » and that would be enough to make him growl and silently promise to kill. It’s not enough. And it’s not natural either, having those expectations. She craves his protective looks, the way he stands 2 steps behind whenever someone talks to her ready to strike, when he asks for her or just to have his attention. That’s not natural. She didn’t crave Robb’s attention that way. But Robb never checked if she was sleeping nor did he lightly put his hand on the small of her back, under her cloak when walking around camp. Robb never really cared for her dress, neither Jon before. And now if he doesn’t mention the new embroidery, he notices and slightly nods.

If he’s tired of fighting, she is too. She has her own battles and he is one of them. One would say this isn’t a fight, a challenge at most. To her, he’s a fucking mountain to climb, avoiding rumbles and slowly learning where to step foot, where to get hold. Hiding feelings and cravings, hopes and fantasies. Pretending it is newfound happiness when she only wants his dark eyes to _see_ , because she is no climber.


End file.
